Today I realized that I live no better than I did in college. And I don't think my living situation will improve soon either. Let me explain.
The Sofa: Remember that really crappy hand-me-down sofa that you got from your friend that finally got married, that they got from their older brother? To class it up, you covered it with a sheet because it was so gross? I have a couch like that now (minus the sheet - I haven't stooped that low yet, although I did use a slip cover for a year). It didn't start that way, but my kids have destroyed it. If by some random chance a strawberry is laying on the floor, my child will step on it and track it on to the sofa. They will spill milk on the sofa. They will vomit and bleed on my sofa. No amount of flipping the cushions will bring back the dignity of my sofa. Pete and I have talked for a few years now about how we need to replace this sofa. But every time I think of spending money on a new sofa, I shudder to think of how quickly my children will take its value from $1000 to $0 (2 weeks top).
The "Family" Table: In college we had the piece of crap table that had mysterious stains and warps. When Pete and I moved into our house and had space and money for a new table and set of chairs, we felt very responsible and forward-thinking for purchasing the table and chair set toted to be "family friendly." Look at us, we thought, acting like mature adults, buying a table designed to withstand the rigors of children. No glass tops for us or bar stools. No, we chose a respectable table and chair set. One built to last. Now that we actually have kids, I would like to make a few recommendations to all table makers out there, claiming their tables are "family friendly":
1. Do not put any grooves in your tables. Food just gets stuck there and calcifies into the grooves that only a power sander could remove. Gross, but I believe in transparency.
2. Please make rounded corners with bumper pads. I think every parent knows why I am asking for this. And while you are at it, put pads underneath the table. Hell, just make the whole damned thing padded and save us some ice and tears.
3. Cover the table in a big roll of paper that we could just rip off when we are done with a meal (or art project) - like the tables at the doctor's office or at an Italian restaurant. My table now looks like a modern art display because washable markers are a case for false advertising.
Now I know where my college table came from - some family out there finally had their kids move out and they recycled their table with the first poor college student they could find and bought a nice new table with a glass top.
The "Carpet": Once a new house, our carpet was a thing of wonder - much nicer than the flattened down, stained carpet from our previous apartments. Of course the first spill was painful, but quickly treated, it didn't show. Now that I have children, my carpet could better be described as leopard print instead of beige (a stupid color for anyone with kids anyway - should have gone with a shade of Kool Aid). If I spot treated every spot on my carpet, I would never be done - and trust me, on ambitious moments, I have tried. Occasionally we hire carpet cleaners and things look good for about a month, and then reality sets in again and I'm back to animal prints. At this point, I'm waiting until after the holidays to schedule my next carpet cleaning because there just isn't a point in doing it before we haul in a Christmas tree and spill some holiday cheer on the carpet. I'm waiting to get my money's worth because I know clean carpet with kids is like a clean car when you live on a gravel road - fleeting.
The Meals: In college, I ate out literally every night. Pizza was the food of choice most nights, but I did like to mix it up by ordering it from different places. After I grew a little older, I found it novel to cook a meal and vary my cultural cuisine when dining out (Mexican and Chinese baby!) Since I've had kids, I've found my meal experiences have reverted back to the college days. Now chicken nuggets and pizza are the two most requested foods in my house, and when given the choice of restaurants, my kids ALWAYS choose the Golden Arches (gag!)
While I admit that there are times I miss college - skipping class on nice days, skipping class on crappy days, skipping class because my soap is on, skipping class because I was up all night not studying - I don't miss living like a college student. Yet here I am. When I invite you to dinner, you may find my table disgusting, but at least it won't matter if you spill something on the floor. Pass the chicken nuggets and don't get me started on my roommates. They are always late with the rent.
i think you need to take your blog national it is so funny!
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