Sometimes Being a Mom Sucks or Thank Goodness for Insurance

I usually like to keep things light.  But this week was anything but. It started with me finally taking Max to the doctor for his knee.  It has caused him pain off and on for the last 6 weeks, and being the good mom that I am, I waited to take him to get it checked out.  Really, what can't a little ice and dirt heal, right? The doctor orders x-rays, which I considered to be a major waste of time, but obliged anyway. And lo and behold, "something" is showing up on the x-rays - nothing like vague details. Trying very hard not to jump to conclusions, I scheduled an appointment with the orthopedic doctor for the next day.

Enter the next day. Max's pediatrician calls the house and says, "What's going on with Max? Do you know about his x-rays? When's he going to the orthopedic doctor?" After a longer conversation with Max's actual doctor, it turns out he thinks Max's x-ray indicates a "good sized" soft spot in his bone, either a cyst or an infection in the bone.  Good morning Panic. Nice to see you. Oh, and it's Rocco's 2nd birthday so this call puts a little damper on the Elmo guitar and new vacuum.

We take Max to the specialist, already prepped for a cancer diagnosis, when he tells us that it is a different issue entirely. After much questioning, we take a collective sigh of relief. Sum total of doctor's appointments or trips for x-rays?  3 as of Thursday morning.

To begin Friday, I actually made a point of making it a goal not to go to the doctor. As I start my commute to work I get a call from Pete that he gave Rocco milk (he's allergic to dairy, and not that cute kind of allergic that you can ignore, but the stop-breathing kind of allergic). I turn right around and run through epi-pen procedure as I speed home, praying that it really isn't THAT bad. Oh, but it is. I get home to find a very quiet, lethargic, falling "asleep", wheezing Rocco. I give him the shot of epi-pen in his leg and call 911, thinking, "Are you freaking (edited for those opposed to harder language) kidding me??!!" I have taught first aid and CPR for 8 years and still felt so at a loss. This is my baby and we almost lost him exactly 2 years ago and here we are again, going to Blank.

Fortunately, the epi-pen worked.  Well, not like Pulp Fiction - no Uma Thurman gasping, sitting bolt right up with a needle in the heart, but he started to get color back in his cheeks. And as I rode to the ER with Rocco in the ambulance, I searched my brain for SOMETHING funny about all this only to come up with nothing. Instead I focused my efforts on how to talk to my husband when I saw him next in the ER and keeping Rocco alert. Success on both fronts, by the way, through Herculean strength and compassion. Doctor/x-ray/ER count now up to 4  from Monday - Friday.

This brings us to Saturday. I am emotionally exhausted and physically shot. I really just need one normal, decent day. Instead Saturday night I was up half the night with a crying Rocco - for no apparent reason - choosing to sleep on the floor of his room instead of wearing a path in the carpet from my room to his and since I am no longer 7, destroyed my back in the process of my impromptu camp out. Instead of an ambitious Sunday of running 7 miles and packing the kids up for church, I crawled (literally) out of Rocco's room and made my way downstairs where Peter had thankfully made me a pot of coffee.

Which brings me to two clear conclusions to wrap up the week. One, sometimes being a mom just sucks. Sometimes there really isn't anything good in having your entire being wrapped up in the well-being of someone else, so that when there is bad news it is more personal than if it actually happened to you. And moms, I know you know what I mean. When your kids are in pain or suffering, there really isn't anything more devastating. And when I can't find something funny about the situation, you know it's one of those moments where you just have to pull through, suck it up, and hope to be able to live to tell the story the next day. And it was one of those weeks. A Mom Marathon. Oh, and let's not forget that work, after-school activities, and the like keep on going, regardless of your crappy hour/day/week. But tonight (Sunday), both boys jumped into my chair and snuggled up to me and I thought, "This is why I am a mom." Oh, and conclusion number two? Thank goodness for health insurance!

Here's hoping I get a full night of sleep in my own room!