Kiddie Crack or Made with "Real" Fruit Juice

Folks, we are in the middle of a drug war. This coming from the Just-Say-No-To-Drugs generation. And I must say I am ashamed of us. Myself included because I too have succumbed to temptation. Parents, you know what I am talking about. Fruit Snacks. Or as I like to call them "Kiddie Crack."

Oh sure, we all start out with the best of intentions. Even I kept them out of my house until Max was 3. Of course, all of his friends were doing it and he wanted in on the action. And some of his friends' parents would give him a bag. I'd let it slide, let him experiment with the Thomas the Train, Nemo and Trucks gummies. But I had VALUES people and kept that kind of crap out of my house, like a "good" mom. I offered real fruit snacks, like apples and raisins instead. Then things started to slide. A box of Cars fruit snacks here as a special treat, a bag of fruit snacks for Halloween.

And that's how it starts my friends.  Our little junkies, I mean darlings, start to beg for them every time we go to the grocery store or Target. At only $2.50 a box, it's a cheap high, like meth. Little dime bags of joy. Just like an addict, they'll do anything for a fix. And as a dealer, I found for a bag of sugar ("real fruit juice!") I could get my kid to sit through a 90 minute Easter mass or stop crying after a shot. Public good behavior is better than money! Next thing you know, you'll find your husband offering fruit snacks to your 2 year old just to watch him do what we call "The Fruit Snack Dance" (this is true).

I knew the moment we sunk to a new low.  We had family pictures the other weekend and used Kiddie Crack to bribe Rocco (also the fruit snack dancer) to smile, pose, follow us around. Even Max wanted in on the action. Perhaps we even shook the bag at him to get him to cooperate - you could almost hear him salivating to get his next fix of cheap corn syrup.

By now we are completely immersed in the drug culture of fruit snacks. I've tried weaning my kids from their habit and going cold turkey, but to no avail. Where is the methadone for fruit snacks I ask??  What have we done? We've lectured about smoking, safe sex, drugs and drinking, but have overlooked our new epidemic - Barbie and Friends in a bag!

As a parent, I wish I was better. But I'm not. And I will be handing out fruit snacks for Halloween this year...AGAIN.