Moms, are you ready to discuss one of the most heated debates of parenting? Yes, even I am going to address it on my blog. I don't do it, don't believe in it and don't think it helps to raise my children to be the kind of adults I want them to be. I don't Spanx. Of course I'm not going to talk about spanking. First of all, I don't want to know if you do or not and I don't really feel like discussing it. Besides, the issue of spanxing is way more near and dear to my heart.
What brings this important topic up today? I had too much time in an airport and spent that time looking like a ditz, reading Cosmo magazine. To my defense, Oprah also discusses it, but in hindsight, that also makes me look ditzy. Crap. Anyway...it's spanx this, spanx that. Here's the thing. I don't do it and I'm going to tell you why.
1. False Advertising: Look, I'm a perfectionist. As a FORMER size 4-6, I feel as though it is my responsibility to once again get into that size by my own accord. Using any other method to look svelte is just plain cheating and no one likes a cheater. If I want to look like I have an awesome body, I personally feel that I better work for it. And work for it. And work for it. And until then, well, the mirror is just a good reminder that 1. I should get to the gym more often and 2. I should buy clothes that look better on me now. And for goodness sake, my husband knows what I really look like anyway.
2. Pretty Undergarments: You all know that I worked at Victoria's Secret for a couple of years during college. I made some of my best friends there and I also developed a certain standard for my undergarments there as well. I only want to wear pretty bras and panties. As a mom, I might be covered in puke or finger paint on the outside, but underneath, I can still look pretty. (Side note, pretty bras do not make up for smelling like puke however.) And Cosmo kept addressing how do you hide your Spanx when you are hooking up on a booty call. Well, I say, I'll never be put in that situation! I just won't wear ugly panties. Or, it goes without saying, have a booty call with a stranger.
3. Standards: Let me get all Woman-Power on you and say, Ladies, it's time we stand up to this standard of having to be a size 2 after having 2 kids, working full-time and eating a diet of chicken nuggets and turkey sandwiches. Aren't we all supposed to be above this by now? We are supposed to look healthy, not like super models. We are supposed to be secure with our body image and teach our children to love themselves just the way they are! To hell with Spanx! Let's wear flowing skirts, eat organic fruit snacks (oh the irony) and make our own crafts out of leftover egg cartons. I am woman, hear me roar! (This dichotomy is what happens when I read Parents magazine and Cosmo at the same time.)
So whether you Spanx or not is really up to you - it's your personal decision and one each parent needs to make for herself. But now you know where I stand on this very important subject. I'm just going to head to the gym now, then shower, throw on some super cute bra and panty set and a long flowy skirt.
