Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Teddies, Stockings and Flannel Pajamas or It's a Wonder I'm Still Married

Pajama Reflections:
It is an end of an era. I finally threw away my baby blue flannel Victoria's Secret pajamas.

Back in my college days, I worked at Victoria's Secret part-time. Initially I intended to use the income to help pay my bills, but in the end used all my paychecks and then some on the merchandise itself. I guess it was a win-win for Victoria - I was basically free labor with all the stuff that I bought. I have an entire drawer dedicated to stuff I've only worn once. But it was a growth moment for me too. Not only did I meet my best girlfriends at this store, but I can also tell you the difference between a teddy and a merry widow, explain silk over satin, and extoll the virtues of stockings versus full pantyhose. And lucky for one caller, I also know that a sheer lace babydoll does indeed become see-through if you get it wet. Duh. It's sheer and it's lace. Side note, if you are getting your rocks off by calling Victoria's Secret, at least come up with some interesting questions. If there was a lingerie Jeopardy, I would win.

Back to my flannel pajamas...it was the first Christmas Pete and I were married. I had stopped working at Victoria's Secret so I could intern and graduate into the lucrative field of fitness and wellness. Pete hands me a huge box from Victoria's Secret and I was so excited. What would my husband buy his newlywed, who also knew every product at the Victoria's Secret store? I open the box, pull apart the tissue paper, and what do my wondering eyes should appear? Blue flannel pajamas. And I thought, WTF?

After I started talking to my husband again (a few days later), these are a few of my direct quotes:
"What the hell were you thinking? We just got married and you bought me flannel pajamas??"
"Am I too fat to wear something cuter?"
"FINE! I'll wear these goddamn pajamas every fucking night!"

My husband sputtered a couple of replies like, "But light blue is your favorite color." (true) and "You are always cold at night." (also true). But when you are 21 years old, common sense and reason aren't always readily available - see note above about spending all available income on bras and panties. Being as stubborn as a mule, I did wear those pajamas constantly. At first it was to prove a point but gosh darn it, those were the best pajamas I've ever owned. I guess I was right when I was selling them to customers; they really do get softer with every wash and they do last forever so it's worth spending $55 1997 dollars on them because they hold up.

Being me, I hate to be wrong. But I will admit, I was wrong here. My husband gave me a thoughtful gift that I ended up loving. Sure, they aren't sexy, but as I've gotten older (ie wiser), they were way more practical. I have cleaned up baby puke in them, lounged around on lazy Sundays in them, and have even found them very absorbent for spit up emergencies. My husband is a sweetie that not only bought me a super gift, but also stuck with me while I went into a crazed rage about it. I guess he knew something that I didn't - that life wouldn't always call for satin and lace, but sometimes flannel can be just as good. This lesson is even more true as a mom. We may not stay out all night anymore unless our kids are keeping us up, but life is still pretty awesome. And if these pajamas get wet, they are NOT see-through. Won't be getting any prank calls on these babies!

My pajamas in their prime

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Mom Moments that Parents Magazine Doesn't Feature aka Things I Hate

Just a few things I need to get off my chest...

A List of Mom-things I Hate To Do (look who found how to change font colors!)

1. Putting sheets on bunk bed mattresses.
2. Sewing patches on Scout shirts.
3. Yelling at my kids.
4. Not getting to eat ice cream for dinner.
5. Having to explain what a condom is when my son hears it on TV.
6. Paying daycare instead of buying a new car.
7. Having to be very careful where I put my copy of Fifty Shades of Grey.
8. Cleaning up pink throw up. Other colors I can manage.
9. Going to church to set a good example instead of getting to sleep in.
10. Going upstairs to put certain people to bed for the fourth time in the night, especially after I've painted my toenails.
11. Feeling guilty for leaving the house to work out, buy groceries, or go to dinner with girlfriends.
12. Matching little pairs of socks.
13. Making May Baskets (see post from May 2012).
14. Dealing with playground politics.
15. Dropping my kids off at school or daycare. I hate saying good-bye.
16. Working late.
17. Remembering to put money under the pillow for the tooth fairy.
18. Using a 5-point harness while running really short errands.
19. Having a constant supply of fruit snacks, holiday candy and pop tarts.
20. Stopping at one bowl of ice cream in front of the kiddos.
21. Hearing that I look like I am in my late 30's.
22. Being quizzed like I am an encyclopedia when I least expect it.
23. Explaining what an encyclopedia is because the 70's and 80's were SO long ago.
24. Feeling guilty for going to work and feeling guilty for staying home.
25. Baby. Weight.
26. Feeling like I have to make the obligatory comment about how motherhood is worth all of the above. Because that should go without saying. My list of things I love about being a mom is much longer than this list of things I hate to do. But Moms, sometimes it's okay just to admit that there is no glamour in cleaning  smeared poop off the walls - NO ONE loves that part of parenting. Add it to the list!