Day of Yeses or Can Oreos Make You Mom of the Year? (Answer: Only if they are double stuffed.)

Yesterday I decided to say “yes” to pretty much everything. I know, I know, women are supposed to say no now – you read about saying no all the time. Not overcommitting is the thing to do! I feel like you need the backstory to understand this one. We were spending Thursday night at a hotel with a water park and I had the kids to myself on a rare Friday off from school. On Thursday night I was wiped out – I had gotten up at 4:30 a.m. to workout, worked all day, plus we had gone swimming at the hotel – and I didn’t have the energy to make the cocoa and popcorn I had promised the kids before bed. “In the morning you can have it,” I said before I conked out for the night. And now it was morning and they wanted popcorn and cocoa for breakfast. My first reaction was an inward sigh because kids only remember the things you wish they hadn’t. They can’t remember to put their shoes on every day, (something that still amazes me – it’s SHOES!) but they remember I had said we’d eat junk food for breakfast. But then my second reaction was “Why not? What IS the big deal about popcorn and cocoa (and Oreos) for breakfast? We don’t do it every day and giving them a whole day to burn that energy is better than giving it to them before bedtime.” So I said “Yes.” The kids couldn’t believe it and I had won some points in their book.

Then I thought, why not say yes to everything today? I had to mix in errands with the fun of the day so maybe it would make the day go smoother if I did. And lo and behold, the day went pretty well. I did have to shoot down a few ideas such as, after complaining for 45 minutes that they are starving for lunch I said no to the arcade so that I could feed them before they turned on me. I might have been motivated by self-preservation on that one. Hungry boys are a very dangerous thing. I want to be a hero but I don't want to be eaten in the process.

I said yes to pop at Costco, yes to an ice cream cone before dinner, yes to the pumpkin at the grocery store (the bigger the better!), yes to volleyball in the pool, yes to more TV, yes to the bounce house at Night Eyes, and yes to bedtime stories. Again, there were a few nos sprinkled in, but the majority of the day was full of yeses.

And it felt good. Did the kids get away with murder? Nope. Are they spoiled? Nope. Was the day perfect? Nope. I’ll admit, at the end of the day, Rocco was still complaining that he doesn’t get EVERYTHING he wants and I was still exhausted. But the day felt better on the whole and I felt better. And let’s be honest, I care a lot about how I feel.

See, too often I just wear out. By 6 p.m. I’m ready to hang it up, even though there’s still a full 3 more hours of going-going-going to do. And when I’m tired, I revert to saying “no” before I’ve even listened to the request. One day of more yeses than nos didn’t make me less tired, but it didn’t make me more tired either. And it did make me feel like a pretty cool mom for once.

(Now for the sappy Hallmark wrap up.) Will I remember this parenting lesson? Hopefully. It takes a conscious effort to stop and think about the ROI on a yes versus a no. With the number of requests coming in, I tend to revert to hair trigger decisions. But setting an intention at the start of the day to say yes more than no helps. Will this make me the world’s best mom? No - I still don’t have a formal Craft Night on the weekly rotation and so someone else will hold that title. Will my kids still get mad at me? Oh that’s a definite yes for sure. Yet, the next time they are mad at me for making them brush their teeth, I’ll just remind them that popcorn, cocoa and Oreos for breakfast comes at a price. I think the scales will still tip in my favor. Winning!

The Fucket It List or Finally a To-Do List I Can Accomplish

Recently Jerry Seinfeld changed my life. He was on David Letterman and David asked him about having a bucket list now that he is 60 years old. Jerry said that he didn’t have a bucket list. In fact, he had taken his bucket list, dropped the “B” and replaced it with an “F” and voila, the list was done! Genius! I’ve included the clip in case you need the same type of divine intervention that I did.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2VdQc8jxkp8 

So here is my Fucket List – a list of things I have totally given up on and acknowledge won’t ever happen.

1. Making my own popsicles. I was going through my recipes that I had saved last week and stumbled upon 17 different recipes for homemade popsicles. I looked at them and crumpled them all up and chucked them. I am never going to make my own popsicles when they involved a blender, more than three ingredients, four steps and when Bomb pops are so readily available at the grocery store.

2. Making my own frosting. Again, see the same reasoning above. If I was supposed to make my own frosting, Betty Crocker would be out of a job. Plus it would put my poor box cake mix to shame and no one wants to shame a cake mix. Have a heart people!

3. Doing my taxes. I did give this one the ole college try. Thankfully I’ve not been audited. My defense would be that I really did try my best and spent HOURS screwing them up. This is why God made accountants. And every year I am happy to write them a check to tell me how much I owe.

4. Taking part in the tradition of May Baskets. If you don’t yet know how much I hate May Day, please read through one of my first blogs. I’m not going to rehash all of this, but to catch my new readers up, I loathe May Day. And because I’m adding May Baskets to my Fucket List, I don’t even feel bad about the damn baskets anymore. By not participating, I’m just checking something off my list. Ah, the freedom!

5. Coming up with cutesy ideas for that creepy Elf on a Shelf. If we could put the Elf on a Shelf IN a May Basket, I would be in heaven. I hate the Elf on a Shelf for three reasons:
1. He looks really creepy.
2. He promotes stalking.
3. Most importantly, he is creating more work for me.
The best I can do with this elf is hide him every day and that still requires me to put a reminder in my phone each night. And when you post pictures on Facebook of him playing in a bunch of flour on the kitchen floor, I’m sure the look of joy on your children’s faces when they find him in these antics outweighs the pain the ass work of setting it up and then cleaning up the mess you made. But still, I’m begging out.

6. Doing the same thing on St. Patrick’s Day with the Leprechaun. WHAT IS THIS? Who came up with this leprechaun business? Was it the same people who invented Pinterest, which we all know is a ploy to sell more craft items and make people feel inadequate? (I’m thinking Michaels and Parents magazine are in cahoots.) I’m not even going to feel bad about this St. Patrick’s Day thing. I’m lucky if I remember to dress my kids in green. I just tell them to tell their friends they are wearing green underwear because who’s going to make them prove it, right?

7. Getting my PhD. I feel like this ship has sailed. I really hate research and I don’t know if I can go back to school for 5 more years. I have to admit, this is only half-heartedly on my Fucket List because I still kind of think it might be a possibility.

8. Getting a Brazilian wax. I’m not sure if I have to explain this one. But the thought of having someone pull hot wax off my lady parts sounds like signing up for labor again, but without an epidural. Unless you can get an epidural for a wax. Then I might be in.

9. Do an Ironman. Weirdly enough, this was on my Bucket List at one time. But then I had kids and realized how much I hate running and don’t know how to bike. Also, I’m scared of fish and you have to swim in lakes. I feel like this one was doomed to begin with.

I’ve got a strong sense that this Fucket List is not yet complete. But this is a To-Do List I’m excited to add to. If you feel inclined, start one yourself! It is like therapy without the Kleenex. I’d love to hear what makes your list. It might inspire me to add a new one to mine.