They say when you deliver, "You don't get a medal regardless of how you deliver your baby." You can go naturally, C-section or with an epidural and no one cares. A healthy baby is our prize. And yes, that is true. But really, I think you need a little love if you went naturally. Why not? Do you know how much it hurts to have a baby?? I don't - I had an epidural and a C-section. But I can IMAGINE how much it hurts and I think that deserves a tiara, or at least a small ribbon on your hospital door. If you told me I'd get a tiara for delivering naturally, I might have considered it. It's all about the proper motivation. If you delivered naturally, you are a freaking Rock Star. I am jealous of your awesomeness, and may make a snide comment about it because I can be petty.
Currently I'm looking ahead at a week that involves 4 sports practices, one soccer game, one religious education class and a scout event. Oh, and the cherry on top is the authentic looking costume I "get" to make for my son's school project (and a poster - don't forget about the poster). This is in addition to the regular things that need to be done like groceries, dinners, laundry, spelling words, scheduling doctors' appointments, working full-time and paying the bills. I woke up on Monday morning and the first thing I thought was "What the fuck! How is this all supposed to get done?" My second thought was "I need coffee." And according to Parents magazine and Redbook, I'm also supposed to find time to eat 2 nutritious snacks each day (Snickers bars and coffee do not count), exercise, meditate and journal, because by taking care of myself, I will have the energy to find 26 hours in my 24 hour day. If I make it through this week, I deserve a freaking Glittery Star.
Have you noticed that men get verbal Glitter Stars for the smallest of accomplishments? They change A diaper - Glitter Star! They pick the kids up from daycare - Dad of the Year! They take the kids to buy groceries - Mr. Mom! Moms, we do all of these things in one hour after a full day of work. No Glitter Star. Time to change things Ladies! (Disclaimer: My husband is awesome. He gets the kids ready EVERY morning, drops them all off and picks them all up at night. A.MAZING. What he does in one day would likely warrant him 72 Gold Stars by those people who have low expectations for dads. He definitely exceeds these expectations and (guilty admission) I occasionally/often take this for granted.)
Wouldn't it be nice if we could just look at each other, see that worn out look on that Mom's face, and say "Hey Sister - I've been there! Good job!" and put a Glitter Star on her stained shirt? I know I'd feel a little bit better if someone gave me a Glitter Star every once in a while. Sometimes just not screaming at your kids at night deserves a Glitter Star - there's no need to be stingy! I know we are supposed to know that the simple fact that we are moms is reward enough - that we don't need that pat on the back because the sheer fact we are raising amazing children speaks for itself. Well, I say that's crap. Have you read that Sistine Chapel email that says the creators of the Sistine Chapel didn't put their names on it? That the fact that the Sistine Chapel is amazing is all the recognition that they need? Well, I'm willing to bet that after they put in 10 hours building the Chapel that day, they didn't go home and figure out what's for dinner, run someone to soccer practice and cut up felt to make a fringed jacket for their grade-schooler's school project. (Yes, I am hung up on this costume. I will eventually get over this...sometime next year.) And maybe they did think, "Hey, how about a Glitter Star for all that freakin' work!?"
So here's what I'm proposing. All of us start walking around with a few Glitter Stars in our purses. Consider it Adult Fruit Snacks - a simple way to make someone instantly happier. If you can't find Glitter Star stickers, then smelly stickers will work just as well. I seem to remember being really excited about them in first grade. The next time you see a mom that looks like she's had a hell of a day and needs a little pat on the back for successfully (or unsuccessfully) dropping everyone off at the right practice field on time, give her a Glitter Star. If you'd like to make your own because you want to seem like Martha Stewart or a Pinterest Queen, then please copy, color and cut out the star below. I will be slightly annoyed that you felt the urge to show up the rest of us with your craftiness, but I will forgive you if you pin one of your stars on my shirt. Please ignore it if my shirt is stained. I am still my 3-year old's human napkin. I'm pretty sure your Glitter Star would make up for it. Side note, I'm going to print some off for my mom - I owe her more than a few.
*Side Note: This original post was called the Gold Star Movement until a friend of mine pointed out that a gold star has a negative connotation too. While the Gold Star is the highest level of sticker you can get as a kid, I am an adult and am sensitive to its other meanings too. Hence the name change to Glitter Star.
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