I try to be a cool mom. For example, when I have to run tons of errands and get to have two little "helpers" with me, I always try to mix in a few fun things with the real stops. So we'll go for a haircut (with suckers DURING the cut, not after), Target (with a stop in the Pokemon and vacuum aisles), the pet store just for fun (where I use silly voices running commentary about how the gerbils really wish someone would just bring them a freakin' donut for once because gerbil food sucks), the grocery store, and finally the park for a picnic. And inevitably I will hear at the end of the day, "All we did today were things that were YOUR choice, and nothing that was MY choice." My attempts of being a cool mom erased for the day by needing to stop for a gallon of milk.
And I stop for reflection when I hear that the whole day has been my choice. Even at the ripe age of 34, I have never considered going to the grocery store, dry cleaners, another grocery store for the one thing the first one didn't have, the vet, and the bank as things that I actually want to do. What I would really like to do is lay in bed (while my clone works out simultaneously so I get the benefits of exercise without the effort), reading a book, while people constantly refill my coffee cup with the correct proportion of coffee to milk. I'd watch movies, talk to my friends, nap, sleep, nap again, then maybe get out of bed to go shopping for fun things, not food. Then I'd eat pizza EVERY NIGHT because 1) it is easy and 2) I like pizza. These are the choices I would make if I were actually making choices. And I would implement a rule where the word "mom" could only be uttered once every 10 minutes (current rate is once every 3 minutes - seriously, you could time it). But the last time I checked, nothing gets done if I sit around in bed all day (not that I've tested this because I've never had the chance). And feeding your family pizza every night is close to child abuse. Or at least worthy of a serious guilt trip. Like the time I complained to Rocco's doctor about how much he loves to eat Poptarts. And the doctor told me then (with a TONE) that the only one to be blamed was the person buying the Poptarts. Ugh - I KNOW! - another example of my "choice" gone wrong.
So for now, it appears my "choices" include cleaning, shopping trips where I only come home with food, paying bills I don't want to, and cooking somewhat nutritious foods. Things have certainly changed since I was 20. But then again I occasionally get the guilty pleasures of watching Disney movies again and talking in silly squeaky voices in public as I narrate the life of a gerbil without feeling too stupid. And if it really was my choice, I'd bring that gerbil a donut. He's been asking for one forever.
Love this!
ReplyDelete