You know those mornings. You wake up early, ready to start
the day. You hit the gym and have an amazing workout - the kind where you feel
10 years younger. When you get dressed, you find you can squeeze into your
pre-baby fat jeans (please see chart below) – score! As you start working on
your look for the day, your hair miraculously cooperates and you remember that
this type of day is the reason you didn’t cut it last week. This is one of
those mornings where you are a rock star! You are a mom, but you still have IT.
You are a fierce warrior woman – hear you roar!
Then you hear the roar. The kids are fighting again. It’s
okay, it’s okay. You are a warrior woman – you can handle this with a sense of
calm justice. You are going to rise above and wait them out – perfect parenting
technique by making them work out their differences themselves. You are amazing.
Then you hear the roar again. The dog is constipated and
needs to go out AGAIN for yet another fruitless walk. It’s okay, it’s okay.
This walk will just allow you a little more exercise, right? Those pre-baby fat
jeans don’t just wear themselves – you’ve got to work for it, right?
Then there is another roar. The kids fought to the point of
the youngest getting so worked up that he started barfing all over. What the
hell? Come on! The last thing you want to do wearing your cute fat jeans with
your awesome hair, is clean up the toilet and surrounding areas of barf –
especially when you know it’s not the flu, it’s just an overreaction.
And that’s when it happens. Your fierceness starts to fade.
You are kneeling in your once cute outfit, scrubbing the floor, stripping your
youngest down so he can shower, and basically starting the day over. The
blooming flower you once were has started to droop. The dog starts whining
again – of course she needs to go outside once more!
You catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and instead of
that rock star from the morning looking back at you, you see a harried mom,
hair now up in a ponytail, make up smeared and you resign yourself to thinking
about your next grocery list, knowing the only thing your kids will ask you
about yourself today is not “how is it that you are in your late 30s and still
look so hot?” but instead “what do you plan to make me for lunch?” You might as
well change out of those cute fat jeans and put on a pair of mom jeans. Maybe
you still have a maternity pair lying around – they are good for cleaning in at
least.
STOP! Don’t do it! I am here to tell you that you can still
be a rock star cleaning up puke. Rock stars are around puke all the time – most
of the time it’s probably theirs! You don’t have to be a dowdy mom (unless you
want to be – that’s your choice of course and I respect it.) You still have IT.
You just have to have IT while you are doing the mom stuff too. I know you don’t
have the nannies, chefs and personal trainers that the stars do. I know when
you go out of the house looking messy it’s not a fashion statement like it is
for Katie Holmes but a statement on the day. But don’t let that stop you!
Every
mom is a rock star. Some of us just have harder tour schedules and play for
rougher crowds than others. Let your awesomeness shine. And sure, it’s going to
fade now and then. There will be times you are more concerned about your dog
pooping than you are that you got your workout in. But rise above my friends.
Those are merely temporary setbacks in the game of life. Remember who you are.
You are a mom who fit into her pre-baby fat jeans for Pete’s sake! Now wash
your hands, put the kids in clean clothes and hit the mall like you wanted to.
Don’t let a little barf and lack of poop stop you from being fierce!
RANKING OF JEAN SIZES
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Skinny Pre-baby jeans
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Already gave them away
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Pre-baby jeans
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One can always hope
|
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Pre-baby fat jeans
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A goal to strive for
|
|
Post-baby jeans
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A typical day
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Post-baby fat jeans
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Must be the holidays
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Maternity jeans
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Just wear a long shirt and no one will notice the wide elastic band
on top
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